Archive for the 'Ex-Wives' Category

Stepfamilies and Money: Part One

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

A new Stepmom Circles Podcast is ready! When I first began researching stepfamily life so I could write my book, I came across Dr. Margorie Engel. At the time she was the president of the Stepfamily Association of America, which is now the National Stepfamily Resource Center and we talked then about stepfamily money issues. I recently interviewed Dr. Engel again and we talked for hours about all the things that stepfamilies face when it comes to money: saving for college, insurance, estate planning and much, much more. This podcast is the first in a series of three. She also generously gave us documents to help guide our discussions of these topics with our families.

Visit my blog at to download a PDF with Dr. Engel's packet of information. I hope this starts some fruitful conversations between you and your family. Good luck!

Are you a stepmartyr?

Friday, January 14th, 2011

Dearest Stepmothers: Another free Stepmom Circles Podcast is up! Listen to my discussion with author Wednesday Martin about stepmoms who become stepmartyrs. If you're bending over too far backward for your stepfamily, you'll want to listen to this one!

Wednesday Martin is the author of Stepmonster and a frequent guest on the Stepmom Circles Podcast. Visit host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at for more information.

Infidelity Prevention and Recovery for Stepmothers

Friday, January 14th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Whether you have experienced infidelity in your partnership or not you can benefit from listening to this episode of my free Stepmom Circles Podcast. The reason I decided to do this show is because I received a letter from a reader in which she revealed her husband cheated on her with his ex-wife. You can read the letter at the end of this post. Instead of responding to her letter myself, I decided to consult two experts in the field of infidelity prevention and recovery.

My guest on this week's show is Dave Carder, the author of Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know about Potecting your Marriage and Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs. Dave currently serves as the Pastor responsible for Counseling Ministries at the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton in California. He’s a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and runs premarital education classes for stepfamilies.

I also consulted Peggy Vaughan of the Extramarital Affairs Resource Center for this show. She generously agreed to write an article for us called When Your Husband Has an Affair with His Ex Wife. Visit her website to read about infidelity issues or to check out her book The Monogamy Myth and the upcoming To Have and To Hold: A Personal Handbook for Building a Strong Marriage and Preventing Affairs, which will be published in February 2010.

Here is the letter from my reader:

I need some advice and you were the first person I could think to get in contact with. I've caught my husband red handed having an affair with his ex - he's totally admitted it and taken full responsibility - and shown proof, in black and white in his sent and received items of facebook. She on the other hand denies she's having an affair and there must be a case of misidentity. I did a very malicious thing and sent the proof via email/facebook and registered post to her husband along with a letter explaining what he's seeing in his hands. I think he and I deserve better. All that she's ever done in the 5 years my husband and I have been together is make my life a living hell - i was never brave enough to put a stop to it, it's bloody 7 years my junior for goodness sake, why am I so darn scared of her?

She's been to my home and shouted I'm a homewrecker rather loudly and clearly (not that I care what my neighbours think!) and generally shown herself up to be the one hurt in all of this - I'm breaking up a home and marriage and I should be sectioned on mental health grounds because I'm a malicious and devious person. I truely believe I've shown her that she has no power over me anymore, and I am strong enough to fight when she's once again pulled my world around my ankles!

My husband is not off the hook - oh very far from it! I'm forcing a lot of thinking on his part - what does she have over you? Why do you keep going back to a person who refuses to give your son your surname, refuses to allow any decisions to be made by you about your son, and generally thinks she's oh so powerful!

The reason I've come to you is, I'm not outwardly showing any emotion to this situation at all... I normally have a pretty fiery temper, but at the moment I'm so calm it actually scares me! What will happen with this damn breaks? I'm finding all the malicious things I did to hurt her and my husband is giving me a buzz that I'm feeding off...

I'm so confused, don't know who to turn to for good sensible advice and essentially my petrified of what my reaction is going to be when the calm wears off!

Could you help?

For more information, visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at

Stepmonster: Interview with Wednesday Martin

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Listen to my first Stepmom Circles show ever. It's a classic! Wednesday Martin, PhD, the author of Stepmonster and I talk stepmothering. If you live near New York City, visit Wednesday's website to find out of she's doing an upcoming seminar. You'll love Wednesday and her research-based and life-based wisdom.

Visit for more.

Interview with Stepmom Author Izzy Rose

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Check out my interview with Izzy Rose, stepmom blogger and author of The Package Deal. She's a formerly single girl who became a stepmom of two at the same time she got married, left her job, and moved to a new state. Talk about stress! Find out more at Izzy's blog Enjoy!

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at for information on stepmothering, relationships, and more.

The Ex Wife

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Tune in to the Stepmom Circles podcast to listen to a conversation I had with Joanie Winberg, the founder of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children. Joanie is also the host of Single Again! Now What? Blog Talk Radio show.

She's the biological mom of two kids who are now in their 20s. She divorced their dad 14 years ago and their stepmom joined their family 7 years ago. Joanie's advice for stepmoms, dads, and biological moms will have you wishing she was your partner's ex!

I'll be a guest on Joanie's show on Wednesday, October 28th and it's live so you can call in with questions. Watch for more info on that soon or click on the link to Joanie's radio show.

Join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook to discuss the show!

Click the link above to listen to this show or visit HERE to browse all the Stepmom Circles podcasts.

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher at to read her award-winning blog.

A Divorced Dad Speaks

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Let's face it. We wouldn't be in the stepfamily way if not for him. In this Stepmom Circles Podcast I interview Joel Schwartzberg, the author of The 40-Year Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad. We discuss divorced dads, fatherhood, and adding a stepmom. This guy has it right, ladies. He knows how to set his wife up for success with his kids! Check it out. And if you want to discuss today’s show join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook or comment here.

Visit host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at

The Smart Stepmom

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3In this episode of the Stepmom Circles Podcast I have a conversation with Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge, the authors of The Smart Stepmom, a wonderful christian-based resource for stepmothers that is filled with practical information that can help your stepfamily thrive. The book includes prayers for stepmoms as well as research-based strategies for new stepmoms. During our talk we discuss disengaged dads, how to deal with ex wives, and the realities of stepfamily life. The two chapters in their book directed just at Dads are worth their weight in gold.

Need more support or information? Visit host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at

The Happy Stepmom

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

Listen to this week’s Stepmom Circles Podcast in which I chat with Dr. Rachelle Katz. Dr. Katz is the author of a new book for stepmothers, The Happy Stepmom. We discuss some of the common challenges of stepmotherhood along with concrete action items you can take home and use with your family. Find out more about Dr. Katz at

Want to talk about today’s show? Join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook.

Visit host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at

Role Ambiguity: What is a Stepmother Supposed to Do?

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

Tune in to hear a conversation I had with Claudette Chenevert of Coaching Steps about role ambiguity: one of the most challenging aspects of stepmothering. Because there are no known models for stepmotherhood–besides the wicked stereotype–we get to choose what kind of stepmother we will be. That’s a challenge and a gift! Listen to my free Stepmom Circles Podcast to hear what kinds of roles tend to work best for stepmoms. You can also check out my book A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom for some exercises that can help you identify what role you’re comfortable with. Here’s to finding a role that fits you and your family perfectly!

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog about remarried life and more at

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