Archive for January 25th 2011

Stepmoms and the Dance of Anger

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

This is the first Stepmom Circles Podcast of 2011! And my guest is a woman I have long admired: Dr. Harriet Lerner. She's a clinical psychologist and the author of the classic book The Dance of Anger. If you don't have this book on your shelf, you should. It is one of the most empowering books I've ever read about dealing with unhealthy patterns in relationships. Having constant fights with your partner? Read it. Engaged in a battle with the ex? Read it right now.

Have an idea for a future podcast? Shoot me an email at becomingastepmom (at) gmail (dot) com.

For information, support, and inspiration, head to Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's blog at www.becomingastepmom.com.

Are you a stepmartyr?

Friday, January 14th, 2011

Dearest Stepmothers: Another free Stepmom Circles Podcast is up! Listen to my discussion with author Wednesday Martin about stepmoms who become stepmartyrs. If you're bending over too far backward for your stepfamily, you'll want to listen to this one!

Wednesday Martin is the author of Stepmonster and a frequent guest on the Stepmom Circles Podcast. Visit host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at www.becomingastepmom.com for more information.

Infidelity Prevention and Recovery for Stepmothers

Friday, January 14th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Whether you have experienced infidelity in your partnership or not you can benefit from listening to this episode of my free Stepmom Circles Podcast. The reason I decided to do this show is because I received a letter from a reader in which she revealed her husband cheated on her with his ex-wife. You can read the letter at the end of this post. Instead of responding to her letter myself, I decided to consult two experts in the field of infidelity prevention and recovery.

My guest on this week's show is Dave Carder, the author of Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know about Potecting your Marriage and Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs. Dave currently serves as the Pastor responsible for Counseling Ministries at the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton in California. He’s a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and runs premarital education classes for stepfamilies.

I also consulted Peggy Vaughan of the Extramarital Affairs Resource Center for this show. She generously agreed to write an article for us called When Your Husband Has an Affair with His Ex Wife. Visit her website to read about infidelity issues or to check out her book The Monogamy Myth and the upcoming To Have and To Hold: A Personal Handbook for Building a Strong Marriage and Preventing Affairs, which will be published in February 2010.

Here is the letter from my reader:

I need some advice and you were the first person I could think to get in contact with. I've caught my husband red handed having an affair with his ex - he's totally admitted it and taken full responsibility - and shown proof, in black and white in his sent and received items of facebook. She on the other hand denies she's having an affair and there must be a case of misidentity. I did a very malicious thing and sent the proof via email/facebook and registered post to her husband along with a letter explaining what he's seeing in his hands. I think he and I deserve better. All that she's ever done in the 5 years my husband and I have been together is make my life a living hell - i was never brave enough to put a stop to it, it's bloody 7 years my junior for goodness sake, why am I so darn scared of her?

She's been to my home and shouted I'm a homewrecker rather loudly and clearly (not that I care what my neighbours think!) and generally shown herself up to be the one hurt in all of this - I'm breaking up a home and marriage and I should be sectioned on mental health grounds because I'm a malicious and devious person. I truely believe I've shown her that she has no power over me anymore, and I am strong enough to fight when she's once again pulled my world around my ankles!

My husband is not off the hook - oh very far from it! I'm forcing a lot of thinking on his part - what does she have over you? Why do you keep going back to a person who refuses to give your son your surname, refuses to allow any decisions to be made by you about your son, and generally thinks she's oh so powerful!

The reason I've come to you is, I'm not outwardly showing any emotion to this situation at all... I normally have a pretty fiery temper, but at the moment I'm so calm it actually scares me! What will happen with this damn breaks? I'm finding all the malicious things I did to hurt her and my husband is giving me a buzz that I'm feeding off...

I'm so confused, don't know who to turn to for good sensible advice and essentially my petrified of what my reaction is going to be when the calm wears off!

Could you help?

For more information, visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at www.becomingastepmom.com.

Interview with Peggy Nolan of the Stepmom’s Toolbox

Friday, January 14th, 2011

stepmomcircles3This week's episode of the Stepmom Circles Podcast is ready! My guest is Peggy Nolan, a stepmom blogger whose blog The Stepmom’s Tool Box is a place you’re going to want to hang out during the month of October. Peggy is hosting authors on her blog all month who will be available to answer your questions and who will be giving away copies of their books and other fun prizes. (Yes, I'll be one of the authors!) For a full schedule of who will be stopping by Peggy’s blog this month, listen in to today’s show or visit or blog.

Peggy is a mom of two and stepmom of four children. As you’ll hear most of the kids did just fine when Peggy and her husband got together three and a half years ago. However, Peggy’s youngest stepson has proven to be a challenge mostly because he is a special needs child.

Not long ago I received a letter from a reader who is a stepmother of a special needs kid and I thought it would be useful to my listeners to discuss this topic because if your partner has a special needs child or you do yourself, then the issues that are common in stepfamilies are made even more complicated. Even if you aren't dealing with a special needs child, this show will give you some fantastic tools to help you develop  a stronger relationship with your partner and deal with the challenges that sometimes come with stepchildren.

The Stepmom Circles podcast is in an mp3 format. You can listen to it online or download it to your computer or mp3 player.

Do you have something you want to hear about on a future episode of Stepmom Circles? Join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook or leave a comment here.

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's blog at www.becomingastepmom.com for more support, inspiration, and education.

Self-Care for Stepmoms

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

stepmomcircles3 Listen up ladies, this episode of Stepmom Circles is an important one for you to hear! Pilar Gerasimo, the editor of Experience Life magazine, a whole life health and wellness magazine talks about how important self-care is for stepmoms.

You all know how important it is to take care of yourselves. I do, too. But I had no clue how bad it is for our bodies when we don't do things we love to do! You'll learn how important it is to increase the pleasurable experiences in your life. And if you're living in a high-stress stepfamily situation, then you really need to listen to this and put the advice you'll hear into practice right away!

During the interview we discuss a few articles that ran in Experience Life. Here they are for your reference: Take Care of Yourself and A Real Pleasure.

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at www.becomingastepmom.com.

Stepmonster: Interview with Wednesday Martin

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Listen to my first Stepmom Circles show ever. It's a classic! Wednesday Martin, PhD, the author of Stepmonster and I talk stepmothering. If you live near New York City, visit Wednesday's website to find out of she's doing an upcoming seminar. You'll love Wednesday and her research-based and life-based wisdom.

Visit www.becomingastepmom.com for more.

Interview with Brenda Ockun, Stepmom Magazine Founder

Monday, January 10th, 2011

stepmomcircles3In today's show I interview Brenda Ockun, a stepmom of two and the creator of the online resource Stepmom Magazine. Tune in for advice and stories from two veteran stepmothers who aren't afraid to tell it like it is!

Join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook to discuss the show.

Want more support? Visit Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog www.becomingastepmom.com or read her book A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom.

Interview with Stepmom Author Izzy Rose

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Check out my interview with Izzy Rose, stepmom blogger and author of The Package Deal. She's a formerly single girl who became a stepmom of two at the same time she got married, left her job, and moved to a new state. Talk about stress! Find out more at Izzy's blog www.stepmothersmilk.com Enjoy!

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher's award-winning blog at www.becomingastepmom.com for information on stepmothering, relationships, and more.

Stepfamilies and the Law

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Gals: Listen to this episode of  Stepmom Circles, my free podcast for this week's important interview. I talked with stepfamily law expert Margaret M. Mahoney. She is a lawyer, a professor of law at the University of Pittsburgh, and the author of the ONLY book about stepfamily law that I've been able to find, Stepfamilies and the Law. The book was published in 1994, but sadly not very much has changed since then. Click on the book link to see the entire book online or order a copy of it if you're looking to do more research.

Join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook to discuss the show.

Visit Jacquelyn Fletcher's blog at www.becomingastepmom.com for support, information, and inspiration.

The Ex Wife

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

stepmomcircles3Tune in to the Stepmom Circles podcast to listen to a conversation I had with Joanie Winberg, the founder of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children. Joanie is also the host of Single Again! Now What? Blog Talk Radio show.

She's the biological mom of two kids who are now in their 20s. She divorced their dad 14 years ago and their stepmom joined their family 7 years ago. Joanie's advice for stepmoms, dads, and biological moms will have you wishing she was your partner's ex!

I'll be a guest on Joanie's show on Wednesday, October 28th and it's live so you can call in with questions. Watch for more info on that soon or click on the link to Joanie's radio show.

Join the Stepmom Circles group on FaceBook to discuss the show!

Click the link above to listen to this show or visit HERE to browse all the Stepmom Circles podcasts.

Visit Stepmom Circles host Jacquelyn Fletcher at www.becomingastepmom.com to read her award-winning blog.


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